A dragon, two grandparents, time travel, and Tomek's best worst holiday ever.
Some stories you plan. Others find you in a forest, holding a spade.
I lived in Poznań for several years, and the city gave me more than I could ever give back. I found my people at jam sessions and open mics, and I joined workshops for artists: zine-making, comedy, anything that let me play. I fell in love with the architecture, the colourful houses of the Old Market Square, and of course the koziołki, the little goats who still surprise me every time they butt heads at noon.
My favourite place to write has always been the café at the top of Zamek, opposite the bookshop. I finished one of my books at those tables: The Diary of a Multidimensional Archaeologist: Theories of Time Travel, Days 567–819, which has now been translated into Polish. Something about that building, with its heavy stone, history in every corner and coffee on the table, makes time feel a little bendy.
The Babcia with the spade
My new book began on an ordinary day. I was helping my adopted Polish grandmother, my son's babcia, collect wood and sand from the forest. We drove out in my van, loaded up, and I took a photo of her standing in front of the van with a spade in her hands.
She looked so strong, so ready, so completely unstoppable, almost as if she were in a kung fu pose. When I got home, I looked at that photo for a long time, and Kung Fu Babcia was born.
Samuraj Jako-Tako
Her partner arrived a few weeks later in the staffroom of the school where I teach English. I was proudly showing the other teachers the few Polish phrases I know, and one of them was jako tako. My colleague Matty, who had already heard all about Kung Fu Babcia, said straight away: "Samuraj Jako-Tako!"
And that was it. The pair were born.
Samuraj Jako-Tako's face belongs to my dad, my son's grandad. And Tomek, the twelve-year-old boy who tells the story, is my son, when he was a little younger and a little less of a teenager.
Why Poznań, why time travel, and why dragons?
The story had to be set here. Poznań is my local city, and it's full of wonderful memories: people, music, comedy, teaching English, and being surprised again and again by those magical goats and the beauty of the buildings.
Time travel had to be in it too, because time travel is where my imagination lives. My series No Sholont is set in a little time-travel café on Lark Lane in Liverpool, run by Viktor, the Time Machine Keeper, and his cat Nelson. Book One is Time = Memory within Space, and Book Two is The Altruism Paradox. So, of course, Tomek gets his own journey through time. With his grandfather's walking stick, he steps back into a snowy Poznań in 1966 and meets his grandparents when they were young warriors.
And dragons? Who doesn't love a dragon? There's also a dragon at the heart of my Poznań story. On my very first visit to the city, I stayed at a hostel called La Guitar, and the guys there told me: "If you want to meet people, go to the Dragon." So I did. Over the years, I even performed at poetry slam nights at Klub Dragon. A green dragon flying over Poznań felt like it had been waiting for me all along.
The book
Babcia Kung-Fu i Samuraj Jako-Tako: Mądrość Galaktycznych Smoków is a funny, magical story for young readers aged 11 to 16 who are learning English. Tomek is sent to his grandparents for the winter holidays and is certain it will be the most boring two weeks of his life. Then Babcia catches a falling jar of pickles without looking, he finds a sword behind the winter coats, and he discovers a very big, very green dragon hiding behind the garages.
It's a story about the secret lives of grandparents, and the idea at its heart is simple: every old person is a library. You only have to ask a real question and wait.
The book is written in clear, simple English, with Polish words left in Polish, so young readers here can enjoy the story and feel at home in it. At the end are Tomek's twelve Polaroid photos from the adventure.
It's Book 2 in my series Empathy, a Playful Serenity, which began with Fish Are Better Than Dogs Because They Are Less Hairy. Both are available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle.
So, next time you visit your Babcia, ask her a real question. You might be surprised who has been making your soup all these years.
